Peter Morris
I have no idea who this Peter Morris person is, but he's in the running for jerk of the week on the feminist web. He's got an article in the Guardian online called "Fatherhood Ruined my Marriage - Twice". It's already been taken down on Pandagon and Lawyers, Guns and Money, but he deserves a place here.
Here are some choice quotations (it's all dreadful):
"most women haven't a clue what the birth of a child does to a man's life."
"When my wife told me she was pregnant, my first thought was: "Hurrah - a boy."
"The birth wasn't an experience I savoured or shared with any enthusiasm ... I wasn't used to the sight of a red-faced woman screaming and swearing and threatening dire reprisals towards me for having the effrontery to make her pregnant. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing for us both, and we never spoke of the birth again."
"From being the focus of my wife's life, I quickly learned that I was down the pecking order. When I came home from work, all the talk was about the baby."
"I spent more time in the office and less time pandering to the unwelcome intruder who was ruling the roost at home. "
"my wife was getting most of her emotional needs satisfied through the maternal bond."
"I tried the having an affair approach,"
"but that ended in double disaster with divorce from my wife and the new mistress soon pregnant."
"Most men have extreme difficulty in handling the move from husband or lover to father, and I still think a better balance is healthier all round. It shouldn't always be child first."
He says that he was "immature" when his child was born - understatment of the century. How does psychopathic sound?
Newsflash: it wasn't fatherhood that ruined your marriage you stupid jerk, it was YOU!
Here are some choice quotations (it's all dreadful):
"most women haven't a clue what the birth of a child does to a man's life."
"When my wife told me she was pregnant, my first thought was: "Hurrah - a boy."
"The birth wasn't an experience I savoured or shared with any enthusiasm ... I wasn't used to the sight of a red-faced woman screaming and swearing and threatening dire reprisals towards me for having the effrontery to make her pregnant. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing for us both, and we never spoke of the birth again."
"From being the focus of my wife's life, I quickly learned that I was down the pecking order. When I came home from work, all the talk was about the baby."
"I spent more time in the office and less time pandering to the unwelcome intruder who was ruling the roost at home. "
"my wife was getting most of her emotional needs satisfied through the maternal bond."
"I tried the having an affair approach,"
"but that ended in double disaster with divorce from my wife and the new mistress soon pregnant."
"Most men have extreme difficulty in handling the move from husband or lover to father, and I still think a better balance is healthier all round. It shouldn't always be child first."
He says that he was "immature" when his child was born - understatment of the century. How does psychopathic sound?
Newsflash: it wasn't fatherhood that ruined your marriage you stupid jerk, it was YOU!
If it's for real, it's an insult to men and fathers and the Guardian should have known better than to let it past. This guy needs serious help with his personality disorder and they let him speak for all fathers!
EDit: It's been called to my attention that the above comment is an insult to people with personality disorders. I agree and apologise. He needs treatment for his extreme jerkdom, but I have a feeling it's too late.
Hat tip: The Happy Feminist
posted by Winter at 12:45 PM
14 Comments:
God damn.
Hey I know people with personality disorders and they're all a whole fucking lot better then him.
Ugh.
lol.
What a complete moron.
And, erm, it was him that got both the women pregnant. If he hated it so much the first time he really should have learnt to use the genius invention that is the condom.
You know what the most disgusting part of all this is?
I have 3 children (15,14,11) and years ago when I was pregnant I would read lots and lots of books on pregnancy.
Invariably there was a chapter on men getting jealous of the baby. How to deal with your husband being jealous when the baby breastfed. How to deal with his revulsion of you after he has seen you give birth.
Literally, there were entire chapters devoted to telling me how to deal with my husband if he should wind up not being able to get turned on after having seen me given birth or outlining how to explain to him that 'his' tits were only being 'borrowed' by the baby.
It's disgusting.
Over at my blog I did something on this awhile back. Different dude, same issue, although this one goes on to say that some men are so traumatized that they develop PTSD. Here's the link - Childbirth
Hope I did that one right, I hate HTML *grin*.
Good Grief. As if having a child wasn't hard enough. Now we are supposed to spend time pampering men who have regressed to the emotional age of a two year old. (perhaps I am being unkind to two year olds here?) There is obviously no shortage of utter jerks out there. But we knew that already didn't we.
I read the article when it came out and thought he was an utter prat.
I can understand that any human might have feelings that they can't help having, but when they're as shameful as this you should shut up and keep them to yourself.
Neanderthal. What else can i possibly say?
Ah yes, I dated a narcissist like this. His favorite sentence was "Well, what about meeeeee?" Wah. Poor dickless little snot.
What an idiot he is! Grrr.
What a fuckhead.
Seriously.
First, the personality disorder is called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Second, I feel bad for the kids because this man sounds like my father. His first affair against my mother was when she "cut him off" for a month after I was born, then had the *nerve* to cut him off again after my brother. When she stopped serving his favorite meals because the kids didn't like them he stopped coming home untill after supper. He pouted when she refused to leave us with sitters they didn't know so they could go have motel sex. When he finally left her he went back to being single, ie like before he had kids. And when my mother asked him for tuition support, he announced that he didn't think we really needed college, or at least we could pay our own way. ANd when Dad died, he knew for 6 months beforehand but we didn't find out untill 12 hours later, when his brother finally figured out we didn't know. He left everything to his current girlfriend, even photographs. I hope this man'd kids get some good stepdads to balance the damage their birth father will inflict.
I can't belive that there are other males out there like this (i'm an 18 year old male) these children and women deserve much better than these jerks i don't understand how you could treat any woman or child this badly i guess what i'm trying to say to these guys is grow up and learn to treat others with respect; i don't know what giving birth feels like and i never will because i'm male but if i have children when i'm older i will always be there for both the children and thier mother however inconvenient it is for me even if i'm no longer with the woman as i'd never abandon them.I'd also wouldn't be disgusted or jelous because if i was going through that i would want support,love and help not someone being jelous, disgusted at me or revolted after all childbirth is natural.Thanks for reading my comment-Aaron
Wow, you expect the Guardian to know better than to publish weirdo stuff like that. I love the bit where his cunning "having an affair" plan goes wrong because his mistress gets pregnant. How can this have happened? someone must have been having sex with her. Who could it be? Oh hang on...
I would be happy to help this guy out by contributing to the cost of a vasectomy for him. Or even castration...
Castration. Lovely.
He has a point.
"Chapters written on how to deal with men."
Here's a book on how to deal with being a man:
"Iron John: A Book About Men, For Men" by Robert Bly.
I recommend it to women all of the time.
He has a point.
Please, don't think of me as an associated jerk.
I'm way too big of an asshole for that.
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